Why people break up in relationship
By Rois Ola
In relationships, not all will last forever because everyone has a different tolerance level. Some will be able to withstand the trials and tribulations while some will not be able to because generally, if they cannot, then the relationship will end. People break up for so many reasons, but the major reasons to take note of are sex, money and morals.
When two adults decide to come together and have a relationship, they tend to have different views and opinions on sex, money and morals because quite a number of may not be objective.
Therefore, a lot of subjectivity is applied. If couples cannot find common ground and are unbending in any one of these areas, it can deeply damage the entire relationship. Communication in any relationship as I always advise is key.
If this breaks down, then restoring health to the relationship will be hard. Many couples who are friends apart from being lovers are able to withstand these pressures. If friendship ends, then communication breaks down. Your partner must be your friend.
Couples who do not operate as friends start competing with each other which translates into envy and resentment because they no longer have a common ground.
Communication with each other
In every relationship, communication is the foundation. No matter how bad things are, if there is communication, you can overcome the challenges. When communication gets staggered, many parts of the relationship start to suffer. Arguments become frequent and some of the issues end up being unresolved. Thus creating a gap and both of you becoming strangers to each other in the end and if not resolved leads to a break-up.
Growing apart from each other
The constant thing in life is change. People must change and evolve. Someone you know today can change tomorrow; no one really stays the same. We have to keep exploring and rediscovering ourselves and trying out new things. There are times when you grow alone without your partner. It may be a small growth or a big growth. We grow and learn more about ourselves. It should be top priority of any relationship to grow with each other and not away from each other.
Trust between each other
Trust is a serious issue for couples when trust is low between each other. It can break the relationship. If any relationship keeps experiencing or has experienced cheating and other problems, it will reduce the trust and spoil things between them, making things fall apart.
It is even worse when one or both refuse to apologize or worse even admit their faults.
Inadequate love between each other
When only one person is making all the efforts to give love and is not receiving, this makes the relationship unhealthy. Relationship is all about “give and take.” It is not every day you will be in the mood to give love. That is when the other partner should step in.
But when you give today, give next year and nothing comes in return, then it becomes difficult to maintain the love and sustain it. At some point, one person will realize this love is no longer worth fighting for at all.
It is important for both partners to have a healthy level of self-esteem. If one person lacks this, it will definitely affect the relationship and things will turn sour because the person with less self-esteem will start doing negative things to gain their self-esteem back which in turn will affect the relationship in a bad way.
The goal of both partners is to understand each other. You both need to, from time to time, evaluate yourselves as a team and see if you are both heading in the same direction.
You both need to have maybe not exact thoughts, but see each other’s visions and support yourself in achieving them. Find a way where both of you can come to the middle and understand each other.
Take time to decide if you may change your perspective in the future. Then, discuss solutions with your partner and be willing to let go if compromising is unfeasible. The last thing you want to do to anyone you care about is string them along and cause more pain for yourself and for them. It ends up being loads of wasted time for both parties.
If you notice at some point that little things no longer excite you. In addition, that you prefer being away from your partner than being with your partner then it may be that you are due for a self-reevaluation. You have to be sure that you have not sacrificed your happiness for your relationship.
In relationships, there must be sacrifice and compromise, but not to the point of losing your own identity. Keeping the relationship afloat is the job of both parties and not one person alone. Find out if the relationship is the reason of your unhappiness or if there are other underlying issues.
There is no relationship made in heaven. Every good one you see entails hard work and constant moves to keep things spicy. The grass may look greener, but the fact remains that if you and your partner do not consciously and intentionally work on the issues, then break-up is imminent. I wish you all the best.