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60 things every woman should know

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I have been building on this list of things I believe every woman should know and as my years of living increase so does my understanding and views on the list alter as well as well as increase. This is my latest offering. I hope you enjoy it and find some things that resonate with you.

Her minimums and maximums: Those things that she is committed to never allowing herself to accept. The point at which she will not go any lower. The level at which she will not push any further. Also how far she is prepared to go if need be.
When it’s time to say no! Understanding when that is the only answer you can offer and accepting it is okay to say it.
When to break away and move on. This may mean severing ties with a girlfriend, a lover, a family member, a crippling job, and bad habits.
What she weighs. Bite the bullet and get on those scales. Know what you are dealing with and face up to it.
What her blood pressure reads. Too many of us are walking time bombs not having a clue of what is ticking inside of us. Go and get things checked out even if it’s only to be reassured and if not, to do something about it.
When she took her last smear test. Stop postponing it and ignoring going for the test. Don’t let it cost you!
Make sure she gets a mammography at the appropriate times.
Who the biological father/fathers of her child/children is/are.
When she needs to seek help and whom she can go to.
Her man inside/out. She should be able to read him like a book. Study him and be an expert on him. Knowledge is power.
How and when to get angry.
How and when to be graceful, gracious, intelligent and to show wisdom.
How to surround yourself with the things and people you love and who love you. Too often we crowd our personal space with people who are unworthy of us which results in us feeling unworthy ourselves. “Great secrets of life: Find good work and people to love, focus on the positives, and appreciate small things– Mary Pipher.
How to be rid of the guilt that robs you of looking after yourself.
Know and understand your strengths and weaknesses. “Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weaknesses” –Marie de Vichy-Chamrond.
How to be kind and generous in spirit to other women. “ Life’s most persistent and urgent question is what are you doing for others– Martin Luther King.
What her actual dress size is. It is what it is!
How her body functions.
What gives her pleasure and how to go about getting it

What makes her feel fulfilled and secure and making this a priority.

What enhances her self-esteem and making this a constant in her life.
Where she needs to go for peace … physically and spiritually and making sure she always has access to this place at the drop of a hat.
What your potential can be and striving to get there.
How to survive your family and how to get the most out of them.
When you need to change your doctor.
That most men are not bothered about those extra pounds we carry around so we should stop worrying about it.
The true state of her health.
How to be a woman. Not a pseudo-man. To be the strong, spiritual, proud (not vain) goddess nature intended her to be. She should know the essence of who she is. Not who she is expected to be or who she fantasises being. It is more than likely she is already a shinning beacon and can go on to build on this.
Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little—Samuel Jackson.
The state of her mental health and what can affect it for the best or worst.
To make sure she has a ‘go to person or people.’
When she is wrong and the ability to admit to it.
What makes her laugh and make sure she looks to build on those things.
That supporting and enhancing the lives of other women is her responsibility to her gender.
No one can represent, celebrate or debase her gender, her femininity better or more than her.
If she would rather be right or happy in her marriage/relationship; pick her battles wisely.
How to be comfortable with looking at her herself and loving what she sees.
To know that she is good enough just as she is.
That she does not have to accept physical, psychological, emotional abuse from any man or his family just because she is married to him.
That she still has a possibility and the right to lead a happy life even if she has to leave an abusive relationship or a marriage that is unhealthy.
That there is more to just bearing the title of Mrs.
That she is entrusted and responsible to raising sons who respect women!
Work hard at understanding and supporting her mental health.
To learn some form of meditation, affirmation and practice daily even for five minutes.
Don’t allow people you don’t like or who make you feel uncomfortable to encroach on your space.
If you are unhappy about something, stop complaining about it and do something about it!
Treat your body with respect.
Older women need to accept their age with grace.
Learn to enjoy and cherish your own company.
Learn to manage your finances; stay on top of it.
It takes a village to raise a child.
it’s better to have just one good, close friend than several who really don’t understand you.
That it’s okay to grow old gracefully. She has paid her dues and should be proud of her ‘war wounds.’
That she owes it to herself and to other women to live her best life.
That she has nothing to be ashamed of if she has a healthy sexual appetite over the age of 60! Keep it going for as long as is comfortable and you are enjoying it.
That she can survive and still have a great life if her man leaves her for another woman.
That she owes it to herself and other women to walk away from a man who is cheating on her and treating her disrespectfully.
That she has the right to take him back regardless of any criticism she may incur, if he makes the correct changes and she sees a way forward with him.
That in supporting just one other woman to succeed she is enhancing the lives of women everywhere.
That she has a responsibility to herself and other women to cherish and accept the flaws in her body just as they are.

There’s change in the air

I have just returned from a weeklong stay in Ekiti to witness the inauguration of Governor Kayode Fayemi. It was an impressive and well orchestrated event. There was pomp and circumstance and the air was thick with excitement, expectation, determination and hope. Many looked shell shocked, they looked on in awe and unsure what to expect. But somehow believing it had to be better than the four years they had just experienced. The fervour was palpable but also was the hunger and thirst, laced with if I daresay, the customary envy.

In all the activities and there were many, I think for me the most impactful and meaningful was the day of the interfaith gathering. There were all the religious leaders from the church and mosque and the messages were inspiring, inclusive and full of love. This in my opinion is what we are sorely in need of across our truly great nation. The imam as he spoke and prayed in beautiful Arabic, referred the Christians to passages in the Bible that were literal interpretations of the koranic verses. His lasting word what the problem was between Muslim and Christian. It’s a waste of time, misguided and unnecessary. I came away thinking these clerics are the real deal and the type of religious heavyweights that we should hold up as those who speak the truth!

I am hopeful that this is the sign of things to come. Upwards and onwards, a new dawn. We have to be hopeful.
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